Just a few short months ago, I had experienced one of the biggest, heaviest NO’s a person can go through.
I lost someone who was very near to my heart, however it taught me a very important lesson… We need to focus on living the life we truly want to live, and do the things we dream of doing NOW and not waiting for the “right time”
If you have something on your mind, don’t hold back. Say it!
If you have a question that you want to ask… Ask it!
As I’ve learned, there are NO guarantees in life. Tomorrow is unfortunately not promised.
This might seem like a really heavy start to a blog post, but overcoming NO’s like these, are what give us the strength to carry on in business and in life. It also allows us to see what’s important and what to focus on in our everyday life.
I’m not saying that NO’s like losing an investor or a prospect telling you NO, doesn’t hit hard, but trust me when I say, the death of a loved one takes on a whole new level of heartache.
I’ve experienced several massive losses in my life, the other devastating loss that I experienced is when I had to make the decision to close FITzee Foods. All I wanted to do was slowly grow that company organically, but no matter what I did, I kept hearing NO after NO.
Eventually, I saw the writing on the wall and knew it was time to close the doors of FITzee Foods. It was hard and I certainly took time to wallow, but both of these huge losses have caused me to be even more resilient than I ever was.
In fact, I have a mantra that I use and repeat to myself regularly…
“I’m gracefully resilient, inspiring myself and others to take a stand for what we want right NOW.” As tomorrow is never guaranteed.
Now, with The Pitch Queen and my podcast Success Unfiltered I’m creating a sustainable legacy. I take the time to envision how I can live every single day in the way that I’ve dreamed, full of fun, joy and loving what I do every single day.
I NO longer regret my decisions because there is no guarantee of tomorrow.
Dealing with the reality of heavy NO’s might seem highly vulnerable, but it is through being vulnerable that I am best able to connect and inspire you, my Royal Family.
The NO’s You Can’t Do Much About
This week’s guest on Success Unfiltered, Lee Selman, experienced her first crushing NO, at a time that she truly believed that nothing could go wrong in her life.
While working on a camel farm, Lee met a nomad and ended up deciding to go into business with him. Together they created a desert expedition company. Lee and her nomad partner began working on these amazing projects together, and she shared that it was at a time in her life when she felt like things were endless.
Everything was happening for Lee and her partner, they were beginning to work on a movie, and they were working with the people of National Geographic to give these amazing tours.
They were about four years into their business when Lee received a phone call that her partner had gotten shot and killed.
Lee’s entire business went into arbitration. Not only that, she was completely turned off from the idea of having to continue her business in the desert without her partner.
The NO’s when your life is handed to you, are the NO’s that are so heavy to take. You know that you will never see that person again.
Lee struggled pretty hard with this NO. She was depressed, not only had she lost her partner, but everything that she thought was her life had been taken from her. Her business gave her life purpose, so when she lost it, it was difficult for her to shift her mindset into finding happiness in other places.
However, Lee didn’t have the luxury of anything to fall back on. She couldn’t just sit around waiting for life to happen for her. She had nothing. She may not have gone right back into business, but she did get up and start again, by waiting tables.
These are the NO’s that work inside of you and bring about a sort of resilience where you just learn how to get through it. You know you want to contribute to the world, so you pick yourself back up, listen to your inner guidance of asking yourself what can you do next?
After a few other failed businesses as a mortgage broker and a clothing business, Lee discovered the Paleo diet and realized that what she missed most was the desserts, which led to the creation of her now successful business, Paleo Treats!
The Social Media Highlight Reel
I love social media. It is an amazing way to connect with people all across the world, but there is one major problem with it…
People rarely show what is really happening in their lives, and only put out the highlight reel.
I mentioned it above, but I believe being vulnerable opens you up to connect with people in a way that inspires and uplifts. However, if you get caught up in living your life the way others portray themselves on social media, you’re taking yourself away from living YOUR best life.
In her episode of Success Unfiltered, Lee said that the thing she would have told her younger self is, “I think I would listen to my inner voice more, and what it’s telling me is right or not. Listen to that voice and then follow its guidance.”
If you’re feeling stuck after a massive failure, instead of drowning in depression, dive into studying how other people have dealt with a similar type of loss. Dive into listening to what other people do.
Do not focus on those who share only the good or act like their success has come easily and without failure. They’re likely only showing you the good, and hiding the bad. That’s not good for you or the feelings you’re experiencing.
Remember, there is no guarantee of tomorrow.
As I have had to personally deal with this, where one day everything is just perfect, and the next they were gone, please live your fullest, best life now.
You can’t get your time back, so think hard about what it is you’re doing now, and what you are super passionate about.
I want to inspire each of you to take time to do what you love and to love what you do.