Success Unfiltered Podcast

Getting Over The NO: What To Do With the Fear of Rejection

Fear of rejection in sales can sabotage you if you’re not careful.

It’s that moment on a sales call when the pesky mind banter kicks in big-time. What is the prospect going to think? What will they say when I make an offer? Am I going to get the sale? What happens if they say NO? And on and on it might go.

Nothing good ever comes of focusing too much on a possible shoot down. It will make you lose your focus. It will crush your confidence. And being rejected might even go from your thoughts to your actual reality if you let it.

Being rejected isn’t the disaster you might think. There’s always something new to learn and some new way to grow when things don’t go your way. In fact, sometimes a NO is just another stepping stone to a YES.

But if you spend all your time in fear of rejection, you’re getting in your way in more ways than you might know. What happens when you live in fear of even the possibility of a NO? The bad news is that it’s not pretty. The good news is that fear of rejection have to stop you for any longer than you allow it to.

What are the top reasons why the fear of rejection sets you up for disaster?

Reason #1: When rejection is all that you think about, it takes up residence in your head. It’s that little voice in your head that keeps whispering, “What if they say no?” or, “What if you don’t get the sale?” The longer you spend listening to that naysaying banter, the more it’s going to take root in your head, and the longer it will take you to bounce back when the client DOES say, “No, thanks.”

Reason #2: When you focus too much on yourself, you can’t serve your client. If you’re spending all your time worrying about closing the deal or succumbing to your own fear of rejection, you’ll miss out on an essential part of the process: your client. It’s not the time to worry about the sale. It’s the time to listen to the client. Ask them what they need and listen to what they say. Not only will this shift in attitude put the focus on your client but it will also take the pressure off of you.

Reason #3: You become even more afraid of feeling like a failure. Here’s another honest truth about sales: you’re going to be told NO. More than likely, people will say no a LOT. It doesn’t mean that you have to take it personally, close up shop, and consider yourself a failure. Every failure has a lesson. And if you’re so afraid of failure that you never even try, the experience you need is never going to happen. (And you’ll stay right where you are.)

Reason #4: You’ll lose your passion for what you do. Plain and simple. If you dwell on the worst, chances are you’re going to manifest that very thing in your life. Sales is no exception. When you focus on everything that could go wrong, you miss the good things that are happening right in front of you. Eventually, the fear, negativity, and lack mentality will eat up any joy and passion you had for what you do. I’m guessing that’s not why you started your business in the first place, right?

All of these things have one big thing in common: attitude. That is YOUR attitude, your beliefs, and your thoughts — all of which you have the power to change.

Take it from legendary businessman W. Clement Stone: “Sales are contingent on the attitude of the salesman, not the prospect.”

Just like everything in life, sales depends on your attitude, your beliefs, and your mindset. Whether you want to get more clients, feel more confident, or become more resilient, it’s all in your head.

This is the power of the self-fulfilling prophecy. It’s the prediction that directly or indirectly “comes true” because of positive or negative feedback between beliefs and behaviors.

Or to put it another way, if you believe that something is going to happen, be it good or bad, it will.

I’ve had days where I have a sales call scheduled on my calendar and for whatever reason, my mind is feeling punchy about it. I start telling myself, “I bet this person isn’t going to show up for the call today.” Guess what happens next? Yep, the prospect no-shows and I prove myself right.

Now, self-fulfilling prophecies aren’t always so grim. Have you ever found yourself thinking about a person for a while, then out of the blue they call you or text you? Maybe you’ve had a song stuck in your head all day, and then you turn on the radio and it’s the first song you hear. Same deal. What you focus on expands.

And likewise, the more you think that you’re going to get rejected, the more likely that you will.

But the good news is that this prophecy thing can work in your favor, too.

When I tell myself that a client will show up for their sales call, they usually do. If I say to myself that the right clients are going to tell me YES, the deal tends to happen with ease. When I show up for my weekly Facebook Live show, Coffee Is For Closers, knowing that I’m going to have a lot of engaged and happy viewers, guess what? People show up, give me hearts, and ask engaging questions.

It’s all about staying in the positive, and it’s a practice that you can work into your life right now. You can say affirmations. You can get the good energy moving through your body through physical activity. You can use that famous Mel Robbins trick to shift your mindset in 5 seconds!

But if you go into anything with an attitude of defeat, well, you’ve already told yourself how things are going to end.

Now, just because you have that spot-on positive mindset doesn’t guarantee that you won’t EVER be told NO. But by coming from a place of positivity, you’re going to get an overall better result in everything from everyday conversations to sales calls.

Even if you don’t close the deal, staying positive will help you see the reason behind the rejection a lot faster. You’ll bounce back with a lot more ease. Most of all, being positive simply makes you feel better about yourself and your life.

And the more time you spend in a high-vibe place, the more your default mode becomes happiness, abundance, and success.

One thing to remember, though: No matter who you are or how positively you think, rejection is going to happen. The key is not to take it too personally, learn the lessons behind it, and bounce back as quickly as you can.

I’ve come up with some steps you can use that’ll help you get over your fear of rejection, see rejections for what they really are, and get back in the game after the customer says NO. Download my new guide “Getting Over The NO: 5 Ways To Bounce Back From Rejection In Sales” right HERE.

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